Three Letters Never Read
by Phantom Trekkie
Summary: A one shot featuring the Doctor. When the EMH goes to Tom Paris for advice about how to handle his love for Seven, the Doc ends up writing a series of letters...
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor paced back and forth in his office. He bit his holographic fingernails, sat in his chair, paced the floor some more, and then sat back into the chair.

There was no way anyone could have predicted that his programming would have evolved to this.

Yes, the Doctor could feel affection for his patients; if he wanted to, that is. He could be nice and sweet, and could even sing, for cryin' out loud.

But there was no way he could have predicted that he would fall in love.

It's just as simple as that; holograms don't fall in love. At least, that was the theory. Then again, in theory, an EMH couldn't act as a full time doctor, let alone in the Delta Quadrant. The Doctor assumed that theory didn't apply to him.

There was still the problem about Seven of Nine. He couldn't continue giving her social lessons without letting her know how he felt, could he? It was hard enough to talk to her when he wasn't in love with her; it was even harder to do so when he was.

The Doctor heard the Sick Bay doors open, and plastered on a fake smile.

"Good morning!" The Doctor said, somewhat too cheerful for Tom's taste.

"Yeah. Ummm…Hi." He muttered, half smiling. Ever since Kes had left, Tom had taken to working in Sick Bay part time. The Doctor enjoyed his company; that is, when Tom enjoyed his, which was a rare event. Tom couldn't stand working alongside the Doctor. The Doctor was actually rather fond of Tom, but he never showed it.

"Lieutenant Paris, I have a question…I mean…I need advice…about…" The Doctor started, suddenly losing the confidence he had had before.

Tom rolled his hands in the air, signaling for the Doctor to continue.

"I have…certain feelings…for a certain…person…on Voyager." The Doctor muttered, slightly embarrassed.

Tom nodded his head in understanding, and rubbed his chin. "Ah, I see. And you are telling me this why?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Lieutenant Paris, I need advice about how to handle the situation."

"And you're asking me?" Tom asked shockingly.

"Ensign Kim has commented more than once about your ways with women."

Tom smiled, remembering the often 'sessions' he had had with Harry.

"Yeah, we all know Harry could use a lot of help when it comes to that. But, I mean, Doc. You're a pretty handsome hologram. I don't think you need me to help you."

The Doctor smiled and rubbed his hand through hair that wasn't there.

"I am a rather dashing young man, aren't I?"

"Right. Doc, the thing is, you apparently have these feelings bottled up for…" Tom looked at the EMH, hoping he would finish the sentence.

"…for Seven of Nine." The Doctor finished.

Tom stared at the EMH with disbelief for quite some time. An EMH, hoping to have a chance with a ex-Borg? Life on Voyager was all too awkward at times.

"Alright, Doc. Seven of Nine it is. But this makes your situation a little more…complicated. Seven isn't exactly the most available person here."

The Doctor felt his face droop. "You mean, Seven is already…occupied?"

Tom laughed lightly. "No, Doc. I mean, she is a rather hard person to persuade to…go out with you."

"Ah."

"What if, instead of going out with the real Seven of Nine, you make a hologram of her in the holodeck?" Tom suggested.

"I already did." The Doctor answered blankly, not realizing how awkward his answer might sound to Tom. Tom glared at the Doctor, not even wanting to think of the things that could have gone on in the holodeck.

"I see. Well, you could always write her letters, and never send them." Tom said lightly.

Now it was the Doctor's turn to rub his chin. Seven had once written him a fan letter, obviously not wanting to express her feelings toward him in spoken words.

"That might work. Thank you, Lieutenant. You may continue with your duties now."

Paris nodded his head, and continued to check the medical tricorders and hyposprays that were in stock. The Doctor returned to his office, ready to attempt to write Seven letters.

***

_To My Dearest Seven of Nine,_

_Seven, I've wanted to tell you now for ages, but I never could muster up the courage from my programming. _

_I love you._

_I need you._

_Lieutenant Paris was right; it is easier to write things rather than say them. This might be a very interesting topic for me to start researching later on. Seven, if you only knew. If you could only imagine how difficult it is to love someone who doesn't love you back. If you only knew how many males on this ship looked at you when your back was turned, how many people would kill to have a chance with you. _

_I have enjoyed our social lessons together, and can barely wait until we have another one._

_Your Friend Whose Love Isn't Holographic,_

_The Doctor_

The letter was finished. The Doctor hadn't rushed in writing it; in fact, he had taken time, as if he was thinking about something else all the while writing it. Now that it was finished, the Doctor did feel a little better- but his love for Seven of Nine still haunted him.

***

_To The Lovely Seven of Nine,_

_Once again, I find myself thinking of you when I should be working on my research. Do you have any idea what it is like to express your love in a letter? It would be most satisfying…if I knew that you would read them. However, I highly doubt that you ever will. _

_Today we sang together, and oh, it was so glorious to watch you and listen to you sing. I find myself wondering if you recognized the music we were singing. It was a popular love song on Earth centuries ago, called 'All I Ask Of You'. It's from a favorite musical of mine._

_Seven, all I want is for you to love me, for you to say that you do so. Is it that much to ask?_

_Love Me, That's All I Ask,_

_The Doctor_

The second letter was finished. It had been nearly a week since Lieutenant Paris has made the suggestion of writing letters. The Doctor found it enjoyable, proclaiming his love for Seven. However, the EMH couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to actually say those things to a real Seven of Nine, and not to a hologram.

***

_Seven of Nine,_

_I saw you today. You confessed to me your love for Commander Chakotay. I can't say that the Commander isn't an attractive fellow, and that he isn't a suitable suitor for you-because he is all of those things and more. I still love you, Seven. It's almost impossible to stop thinking about you during those lonely nights in Sick Bay._

_I hope you are happy, Seven. I see the way you smile when he' around; and I'm actually happy that you are happy. I just wish you could be happy with me, just me, only me. I've decided that Lieutenant Paris' suggestion for writing letters to you is a bad idea; it only brings pain to the heart and tears to the eyes. Thus, this will be my last letter to you. _

_I love you. I always have, and I will to the end of time._

_I have now written you three letters, Seven. Three letters is hardly enough room to tell you how much I care for you, but it will have to do. There's no point in hurting myself any further._

_I Won't Let Go Of You,_

_The Doctor_

There. He had written a final letter to Seven, explaining how he felt about her, and about her love for Chakotay. The Doctor knew he had pained himself in writing three letters that were never to be read. He didn't regret the decision to follow Lieutenant Paris' advice, but he wasn't going to continue. He took the three PADDS that he had used to write the letters on, and put them in a box. He then put box underneath his desk, and gave a long sigh before making his way to the Cargo Bay, where he and Seven would have a singing lesson.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: This chapter has been added onto this story because of a request from a reviewer. It's from Seven of Nine's POV. Mind you, this chapter takes place in the Alpha Quadrant. (Just so no one gets confused) I plan to write one more final chapter; an epilogue, if you will. **

***

Seven of Nine was finishing up some work at the Institute. Everyone had already returned home, and she was alone in the office that she shared with Voyager's former EMH. Although Seven was one of the leading members of the Institute, she had been denied her request for a private office to call her own.

Once Seven put her PADDs where they belonged, she started to head for the door, but tripped over a stack of PADDS that were in the floor. She was sent ungraciously tumbling to the floor. Rubbing her sore ankle, Seven pulled herself up see what the PADDs contained, and who they belonged to. After reading a few lines of a rather boring report, Seven of Nine quickly recognized the Doctor's way of writing.

Although the Sick Bay on Voyager had always been sparkling clean under the Doctor's watchful eye, the Doctor himself had become much of a slob since they had returned to the Alpha Quadrant. He had piles of PADDS littered on his desk, on other's desks, and on the floor of the office.

Seven of Nine forced herself to stand, picked up the stack of PADDs, and carried them over towards the Doctor's desk. When she couldn't find a place to set them down, the former Borg drone decided that she would surprise the Doctor had clean out his work area for him. Throwing the PADDs back onto the floor from which she had picked them up, Seven began to clean out everything from the Doctor's desk. She was amazed to find reports from months ago still shoved into drawers, papers containing useless information on the latest holonovel releases tacked to the surface, and several sticky notes stuck all over his computer screen, containing locations where his friends lived.

Once Seven had cleared the surface of the desk, she began to tackle under the desk. It was like a young child's room; things were shoved under the bed so no one else would see them. This is just what the Doctor had done- shoved PADDs and papers under his desk, so not to appear to messy.

"You didn't fool me, Doctor." Seven spoke to herself as she worked.

Under a mountain of PADDs, Seven of Nine found a worn, tattered box. She picked it up. It was light, and when she shook it, it rattled a great deal. Even though Seven knew she shouldn't be snooping into the Doctor's business, her human curiosity got the best of her, and she slowly pried the lid off of the box.

Glancing inside, Seven was slightly disappointed to find only three PADDs laying at the bottom of the box. She had secretly suspected that something secret and private was hid in the box, and not just three PADDs. Assuming that it was just data for a research project the Doctor was doing, Seven of Nine gathered the PADDs from the box, and sat down Indian-style on the light green carpeted floor.

_To My Dearest Seven of Nine,_

_Seven, I've wanted to tell you now for ages, but I never could muster up the courage from my programming. _

_I love you._

_I need you._

_Lieutenant Paris was right; it is easier to write things rather than say them. This might be a very interesting topic for me to start researching later on. Seven, if you only knew. If you could only imagine how difficult it is to love someone who doesn't love you back. If you only knew how many males on this ship looked at you when your back was turned, how many people would kill to have a chance with you. _

_I have enjoyed our social lessons together, and can barely wait until we have another one._

_Your Friend Whose Love Isn't Holographic,_

_The Doctor_

Seven couldn't believe her eye, or her ocular implant. She knew that many of the male members of the Voyager crew had been interested in her while in the Delta Quadrant, but none of them had continued to pursue a relationship with her once Voyager had returned to the Alpha Quadrant. The only male crew member from Voyager that Seven of Nine had been romantically involved with was Chakotay, and that had ended only a few months after their return to Earth.

_Whose love isn't holographic._

The Doctor must have been going through some sort of depression; a depression that one could get when they existed as a single hologram among a ship full of biological beings. Seven had experienced a similar depression the first few weeks after a majority of her Borg implants had been taken out. She had felt somewhat alone; there were no voices in her head to tell her what to do, when to do it. She had to decide these things on her own.

Seven had suspected that the Doctor had taken a liking to her ever since they started singing together, but she never knew how intense those emotions had become on his side. Seven of Nine had never considered the possibility of engaging in romantic activities with the Doctor; he was a hologram, she an ex-Borg. There was simply no way a relationship like that could work out for the better.

Picking up the second PADD, Seven noticed her hand trembling slightly.

_To The Lovely Seven of Nine,_

_Once again, I find myself thinking of you when I should be working on my research. Do you have any idea what it is like to express your love in a letter? It would be most satisfying…if I knew that you would read them. However, I highly doubt that you ever will. _

_Today we sang together, and oh, it was so glorious to watch you and listen to you sing. I find myself wondering if you recognized the music we were singing. It was a popular love song on Earth centuries ago, called 'All I Ask Of You'. It's from a favorite musical of mine._

_Seven, all I want is for you to love me, for you to say that you do so. Is it that much to ask?_

_Love Me, That's All I Ask,_

_The Doctor_

Seven of Nine took a moment to recall the day the Doctor had spoke of in his letter. Yes, she remembered. The song had been a challenging one to sing, because of its high notes toward the end. She had not considered the meaning of the words which she had sang with the Doctor that day. Seven read the letter once more. It was full of passion, and she could almost hear the Doctor saying those very words to her. Why hadn't he? Was he afraid? Shy? Seven supposed that even holograms had human emotions that prevented them from doing certain things.

Picking up the last PADD in the box, Seven started to wonder what she was going to do about this. She had found out that the Doctor had secretly loved her, for who knows how long, and had written her love letters, though he never sent them to her. Of course, there was always the possibility that the Doctor no longer cared for Seven the way he had then; he was among other women, other _holographic_ women. Seven recalled the rather stunningly beautiful hologram on Jupiter Station. Haley, her name was. She wondered if the Doctor had ever taken an interest in her.

_Seven of Nine,_

Seven stopped. The Doctor hadn't written some lovely name for her as he had in the previous letters. It was just simply 'Seven of Nine'. She continued reading.

_I saw you today. You confessed to me your love for Commander Chakotay. I can't say that the Commander isn't an attractive fellow, and that he isn't a suitable suitor for you-because he is all of those things and more. I still love you, Seven. It's almost impossible to stop thinking about you during those lonely nights in Sick Bay._

_I hope you are happy, Seven. I see the way you smile when he' around; and I'm actually happy that you are happy. I just wish you could be happy with me, just me, only me. I've decided that Lieutenant Paris' suggestion for writing letters to you is a bad idea; it only brings pain to the heart and tears to the eyes. Thus, this will be my last letter to you. _

_I love you. I always have, and I will to the end of time._

_I have now written you three letters, Seven. Three letters is hardly enough room to tell you how much I care for you, but it will have to do. There's no point in hurting myself any further._

_I Won't Let Go Of You,_

_The Doctor_

A single tear dripped down from Seven's deep blue eyes. _Darn ocular implant malfunctions_. So the Doctor had vowed to love her to the end of time, even when she was in a relationship with Chakotay. Seven had been sure that if she ever was to take up a mate, it would be forever, and not just for a few months. The thought of always being attached to a person romantically had scared Seven at first, but eventually she accepted the fact. Chakotay had broken her heart when he said he couldn't be with her anymore.

"I don't understand." She had stated.

"Seven, it's not you. It's me." Chakotay had stammered uncomfortably.

"That's a common statement used when a male wants to terminate his romantic interests with a female."

Chakotay had laughed ever-so-slightly. "I suppose it is. Seven, you're striving for perfection, and I'm far from perfect. I never will be perfect."

"But you are the closest that I will ever see of perfection. From what I've seen, humanity will never reach perfection." Seven had argued.

"I can't go on, Seven. It's my fault, not yours. It's just…I think…"

Understanding had suddenly come to Seven at that exact moment in time.

"You have found someone else." She stated painfully, her voice deep and shaky.

Chakotay's face turned a deep red, and Seven almost regretted embarrassing him like that. She was filled with pain, hurt, and anger. How dare he terminate their relationship?

"I mean, Seven, I knew it would always be there, but when she started…returning the feelings…I couldn't…I mean, I can't…" Chakotay stammered again.

"Captain Janeway." Seven had thought out loud. Chakotay had nodded silently, and Seven had softened up.

"I understand now, Chakotay. I knew that you had…but I didn't know she had…" Seven said, uncomfortable that she had missed all of the signs.

"It's alright, Seven. There'll always be a place for you in here." Chakotay had comforted her, moving his hand over his heart.

Seven snapped back into reality. The Doctor loved her. She was without a mate. She was, as Tom Paris would have stated it, 'open for business'. The only thing that Seven had to worry about now was what she was going to do about it. She had no idea how she felt for him, but she knew that he loved her, and that working with him while knowing these things would be a very complicated task.

Seven rearranged the Doctor's things so that they would all fit neatly into the drawers. She threw away a lot of old PADDs that she was certain the Doctor would never need, and had cleared off the surface, except for a small stack of blank PADDs for the Doctor to use at his disposal. It was now late at night, and Seven knew she would need to regenerate before long. Returning to her quarters, Seven reluctantly settled down for the night.

The next morning, the Doctor was at the office early. He ordered the computer to turn on the lights, and stood in awe of the room. It was clean. It was _sparkling_ clean, and the Doctor knew who had cleaned it.

_Seven of Nine_.

It had her name written all over it; the way his desk was organized, and everything put into an exact place, the way the room had a professional air to it. It all smelled like Seven's doing. The Doctor barely had time to sit down before Seven came strolling in, with her usual grace and confidence. Today, however, the Doctor could tell something had bothered her, and that she hadn't regenerated nearly as long as she should have.

"Seven, are you alright?" The Doctor asked, concerned.

"I am fine, Doctor." Seven replied tonelessly. She started her work for the day silently, only stealing a glance of him every now and then, when she thought he wasn't looking. Finally, Seven couldn't bear it any longer.

"I found the box." She blurted out awkwardly. She thought she would have to flat out say 'I read your love letters' before the Doctor caught on to what she was saying, but the Doctor surprised her with his reaction. He slowly raised his head up to look at her.

"Ah, I see." He said. "And I suppose you think I'm insane."

"On the contrary, Doctor. I think you're quite sane. You're kind, affectionate, and very intelligent."

The EMH looked back down towards his shoes, and flushed a deep pink. Seven rarely gave compliments, and when she did, they were usually nothing like this.

"Well…that's kind of you, Seven…but…"

Seven stood up from her chair, and walked over to the Doctor's now clean desk. She laid her hand that was free from implants on his shoulder, and used the other one to lift his chin up.

"Resistance…" She whispered before kissing him gently on the lips, finally realizing what she had missed out on by not pursuing the flicker of love she had felt for the Doctor years ago in the Delta Quadrant.

"…is…mmmm…futile." The Doctor finished her statement in between her passionate kisses. He wondered, for the briefest moment, what things would have been like had he told her how he felt in the Delta Quadrant. What if he had actually given Seven those flowers with the lovely card, and told her how he felt, instead of making a holodeck program of it? Seven of Nine interrupted his thoughts.

"You don't look satisfied." Seven pulled away from him.

The Doctor's face fell for a moment, and then expressed a sense of panic. "No, Seven. I'm the happiest hologram in the quadrant. It's just…" He sighed. "…It's just, I'm curious. You never showed romantic interest in me before. Why now?"

Seven thought for a moment, and then answered. "I cannot explain my feelings, Doctor. Maybe, I always cared for you, but never thought you were available. When, however, I learned that you had feelings for me, I think I realized that I had a chance at true happiness."

"True happiness. With a hologram? Seven, this isn't a social lesson. This is real." The Doctor reminded her.

"You don't believe me?"

"It's just too good to be true, I suppose."

"I have other opportunities, Doctor. If you're not interested…" Seven took a step towards the door. She had seen Captain Janeway do this trick more than once with Chakotay; she assumed that it was a way of saying 'take what you have now, or leave it'.

"No, I want you. I need you. I love you. Stay with me, Seven. Love me. Work beside me. Please, that's…all I ask of you."

Seven nodded her head in agreement, and embraced the Doctor in a loving hug.

~THE END~


	3. Epilogue

**Author's Note: This is the final chapter for 'Three Letters Never Read'. No more chapters will be posted after this. If you have any suggestions for future stories, just message me. I love a good challenge. **

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING…because I can't afford anything.**

***

The Doctor walked down the streets of San Francisco warily. He wasn't in the mood to stop by and chat to any of the friends he had made in his years on Earth. No, he just wanted to go home-the home that he knew would be empty. The home he knew would have her touch to it.

Once reaching the apartment, the Doctor was surprised and dismayed to find Tom Paris leaning on the wall by his door.

"Good evening, Mr. Paris. What a surprise!" The Doctor tried to smile, but his face wouldn't move. Grief had set it as hard as stone.

"Hiya, Doc. I wanted to drop by and see how you were doing." Tom said softly.

"I'm doing great, Lieutenant Commander. How about yourself? I'm sure Miral has gotten so big since I last saw her. And B'Elanna? Is she doing well?" The Doctor asked as he unlocked his door and beckoned Tom to come in.

"I'm doing fine, and Miral is growing like a weed. So is B'Elanna's belly!" Tom half laughed. They had received the news three months ago that B'Elanna was pregnant, and that it was a boy. Tom was beside himself with pride, the Doctor knew.

"That's great."

Tom's smile faded, and a more serious look set in. "Doc, I didn't come by here to check up on your daily life. I wanted to know how you were handling...well…you know…" Tom was afraid to actually say it.

"Seven's death?" The Doctor confirmed coldly. He had tried to hide is pain. He worked long hours at the Institute, busying himself so he wouldn't have time to grieve.

"Yeah. Everyone's worried about you. B'Elanna wanted to come, but I told her that I would come first to see how you were doing. No one knew if you were alright or not. Even poor Harry is beside himself with worry."

The Doctor smiled just a little. "It never took much to worry Ensign Kim."

"Lieutenant." Tom corrected.

"Yes, Lieutenant Kim. I'm sorry. I've just been so busy that I tend to forget things like…like…Oh, Tom." The Doctor let himself collapse onto the couch beside Paris, and held his head in his hands, sobbing.

"Sshhh, now. It's alright, Doc. It's okay." Tom said softly as he patted his friend on the back.

"It's been…three weeks now…and…I…haven't gotten over it…over…her…" The Doctor said in between his cries of pain. Tears came to Tom's eyes as well.

"Doc," he said, stifling back his own tears, "you haven't had time to grieve. You need to take time. It will take longer than three weeks to get over the death of Seven of Nine. It was so unexpected, Doctor. There's no way you can deal with it."

The Doctor nodded his head, and recovered his usual posture and air. "Thank you, Lieutenant Commander, for stopping by. Tell B'Elanna to come by and visit any time she wants to, and to bring that little angel with her."

"Alright. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need anything?"

The EMH shook his head. "No, I'm fine. But, if you could tell the Institute that I won't be coming to work for the rest of the week…"

"Okay, Doc. I'll do it. Take some time to rest, will ya? And will you _please _let Harry know you're alright? He's about to drive me insane."

"Of course, Mr. Paris."

"Alright, I better go. Take care, Doc." Tom said as he headed out the door. The Doctor made the ritual 'goodbye's and 'farewells', and closed the door. His apartment was lonely without Seven there. He returned to the couch where he and Seven had sat together so many times, and cried like he had never cried before.

***

**Two Days Later, San Francisco**

The EMH walked through Federation Park. He passed several monuments that belonged to Starfleet officer that had died honorable deaths serving the Federation. He was curious; if his programming failed, and his holomatrix gave out, would he have a memorial of his own, or would he be forgotten? Putting these disturbing thoughts aside, he continued along the path until he reached her memorial.

Kneeling down beside the monument, the Doctor tried to shake off the sobs that threatened to take hold of him.

"Seven," he spoke quietly. "I loved you. I loved you more than anything in the galaxy. I'm crushed that you have left me. I'm crushed that you died so suddenly; I hardly had a chance to say goodbye. Seven…"

From his briefcase, the Doctor pulled out three PADDs; the same three PADDs he had written love letters to Seven on more than ten years ago.

"Seven, these are for you." He made a shallow hole beside her grave, and inserted the PADDs. He then covered them up with the remaining dirt. "I'll never forget you, Seven of Nine. You made this hologram the proudest, happiest, and luckiest thing in the galaxy. These letters were what brought us together; and as I had to part with you, I'm parting with them; leaving them with you. I'm moving on now, Seven, but I'll still remember you. Always."

The Doctor stood up, and straightened his uniform. Just as he started to leave, he turned back to look one last time at his beloved Seven of Nine…

…and at the three letters that would never be read again.


End file.
